Last post?

Why you still living when you don't even feel alive anymore?

That's a question that I don't know the answer. But if I think about it, yeah. Why do I keep living when I don't feel alive at all?

I don't know why, I just don't care about my life. A truck could hit me dead and I don't give a damn at all. Of course I have desire, some things that I want. But what's the point when all of it just a dream? Don't start with "Anything is possible if you try" bullshit. I know what I'm capable of. And it's impossible because... Well, just impossible. I'm not gonna tell you what thing, because I know the limit.

And for all of my life... I don't regret everything that already happened. But I do disappointed for every thing that didn't happen. I just wish there's a chance for me to get it...

I hope this not gonna be my last post... But not that I cared anyway...

But I do want to say thank you to some people who really gave me some... Dream? Well, they are celebrities, only three of them. And I'm not a fan or anything, just really grateful that I could see them (not know them). So I'll just say thanks to them here. Thank you to three celebrities that gave me something to hold on, even if just a dream. Well, maybe not that long to hold on, so I'm just saying thanks here in case I could never say thanks directly.

Reading novel could be the suckiest thing

Well hey there fellow novel lovers. I don't mean to insult, but just want to share something.

I loved novel, fiction novel only. You know why? Coz we lived in boring world - Not
that I want war or didn't like the peace we have now, it's just... After reading The Maze Runner, I felt like I was thrown into those world, finding things that I really love. It's so awesome that I felt I lived there, having journey with the character from the novel.

Then I finished reading the book, now all of those imaginations are gone. All those adventures, exciting life, gone just like that. Now I have to go back to reality where I live like robot. Work, eat, sleep. Nothing else... The stories really gave me some things that I want : Friendship, adventure... Here, in this world? I'm not even sure who could I trust. Maybe I should just kill myself, who knows I could get to the other world?

Just kidding, only on the kill myself part... Well, I don't see the point on this post, just want to share something. I just finished The Maze Runner trilogy and now I'm feeling empty, dark as a black hole...

My novel

Hey guys. I hope anyone reading this, because I really want to make something, something fun. I'm going to make a novel! The problem is, I can't seem to think a good story plot. I thought some plots, but I don't know if it's interesting enough. Okay, I'll tell you some of it. I hope anyone who read it can give me a feed back so I know what kind of novel that interesting to be read.

First plot, this is a story that already in progress, just want to know if people will be interested. It's a story about people who live in a town, surrounded by big wall. Outside the wall there are lot of creatures, animals mutated by some kind of virus. That's the main plot.

Second! Story about war between human and android, human want to destroy android and android want to enslave human. The main characters is a human who befriended with an android that develop human feelings. I hope that's interesting.

The third one is about a virus that turns human into some weird mutated creature. The virus is inside fog, smoke, or mist that always come from sunset until dawn. The creator is a doctor who doing experiment on human. The survivors holed up in a town surrounded by big wall that the smoke, fog, or mist can't reach it.

Okay, that's three plot that I could think of. If you're wondering why there's two plots with big wall, that's because I just watched the Maze Runner andit's really interesting! Yeah, I got inspired by that (or yes, you could say I imitating it). So? Does any of it sounds interesting? Or all of it just a big garbage?

Life?

Have you ever wonder what is the meaning of life? Everyone always said that every life has its own meaning, its own purpose. Sometimes I wonder if that's true...

I don't have a purpose in life. I have nothing precious for me. I have no one to cared about, nobody ever cared about me. Nothing I'm good at, nothing I can do best.

With all of those thought, I always have one question : What is life? What's the purpose of my existence? Does my life have any meaning at all? No matter how much I ask this, how many times I think about it, nothing comes up.

After all those thoughts, another question pops up. Why do I keep living? If my life has no meaning, no purpose of my existence, nothing I'm good at, so why do I keep living? One of my fears is that I will never find answers to those questions. I'm not afraid of death, I'm scared of knowing nothing.

Everytime I have principles, every things that I thought was true, it turns out to be the biggest mistake I've ever done.

To anyone who read this, if you have people that care for you, and you care for them, if you have something that you proud of, something meaningful for you, just hold onto it. Let it be your anchor that holds you down so you won't be drift into nothingness.

Dreams?

So, I haven't post anything in a long time. Last month only one post. It's just there's not much to tell. Of course I do have a problem in life and everything, but I made this blog not for any drama. Yes, you can share anything, but talking about my problem gonna make my blog looks like a beach. But now, I want to talk about dreams.

When I said dreams, I didn't mean dreams  that you get every night when you sleep. I meant something that you want, but it's kinda impossible. That's a dream, right? Or maybe a wish? Well, as long as your dreams is still normal (Want to become a doctor, want to travel), let me tell you one thing, it could happen! (Not if your dreams is ride an unicorn or have a flying pony) You could always get your dreams, if you take the first step. Opportunity is always around the corner, so don't pretend like you don't see it or even worse, throw it away. I said this because I've got a lot of opportunities to make my dreams come true, but instead I throw it away, every single one of them. Just grab it, take a leap of faith, do it! Ask yourself this, which will you regret more? Regret of the results, or regret of never try it? I'm one of the guy who regret it because I'm not trying, not knowing what would happen if I took the opportunity. Believe me, it's painful.

Don't forget, there always opportunity to make you dreams come true. You just need to grab it fast, have a faith in yourself. Okay, Maybe I wrote this just because I want my blog to have a post (and also oping anyone would read it. Assuming my layout and the content of the blog, maybe no one will read it), but I just want to remind you guys to not let go of your opportunity. I already waste mine, you guys should not.

Religion : Bringing Peace or War?

Just got finished reading some news of my country. Apparently, religion is a big issue here even though people say my country is tolerant and not racist. Wow, that's a big load of crap.

Ask yourself, what is religion? Yes, you could say I'm not religious person because I write this and I admit that. But I rather be like this than become fanatic who thought their religion is the best, the one that everyone should follow, or said that other religion is a sin. Damn, there's still lot of caveman like that.

People, we are human. No matter what religion we have, even the atheist, what matters is what we do. Some people don't want their city ruled by someone that don't have the same religion? He's not God, he just working to make the city better! Or you prefer ruled by someone who have the same religion but their work suck? Congrats, your city will be forever like shit. In my opinion, religion is just a tool to pray for our God, to learn about Him and His message. Every religion teach love, so people who use force in the name of their religion, do you caveman still have brain in that little head of yours?

They said this country based on a religion, so it should be ruled by someone who have the same religion. So, let me ask you skmething. Lot of other country that doesn't use religion as a foundation for their government, and yet why those country is more advanced? Why my country, based on a religion and democracy, still like a shit? I bet fanatic person will say that I said bad things about their religion. Well, let me be clear. I never said that the religion that based they country government is bad, all I'm saying is lose a screw in your head so the fanatic behaviour could be gone. Become a fanatic of your religion will not make you go to heaven, it could be the opposite.

Just want to remind you people, don't be stupid. What use of the religion if you use violence, if you do something that morally wrong? Don't think your religion is the best and the most rightful one, coz when you become fanatic you will become racist (true story), and does racist is in any religion teaching? Think before you act, or speak, or anything.

Zombie Guide : Supplies

Forgot to update my guide. Alright, the next guide will be supplies. I will divide it into three parts : Food, First Aid, and Other Needs. Like I said in the previous post, there might be something I forget in the list or wrong about it, so remind me or tell me what's wrong with it. Alright, first problem, food supplies.

Food Supplies : For food supplies, since we're thinking zombie outbreak will not be taken care of in 1 or 2 days, you might need a lot of food and water. For food, take a lot of canned food that don't need to be cooked, if you could. Canned food have the longest expired date and easy to carry. Meat and vegetables? Do not take those, except if you have a fort or safe place. And if the meat and vegetables haven't expired already anyway. Snacks like potato chip, snicker, or chocolate bar could also help you, but if you have a big appetite it won't do much. But it's zombie apocalypse, who are you to complain. Water. Get a stock of a lot mineral water. You could use reusable bottle of course, but if the water is clean and not infected by the virus or anything.

Second is first aid. Of course, take a lot of medicine and first aid kit you could get! That will help you a lot. But if you have too much supplies to take, just bring the essential then, painkiller, antibiotic, some common fever or flu medicine, bandage, and i don't know the term in english, but its some kind of medicine to help you stop the bleeding or something. I think that's all the list for first aid, it could help your injury. Except if you're get bitten of course.

The third and last one is, other needs. First, clothes of course. I know this is zombie apocalypse, you don't have the luxury to have a bath. But changing your clothes once in a while is preferable. You don't want to get infected by other virus because of a dirty clothes, right? Oh, a few towels too. Not for taking a bath, but it could be use for a lot of thing. Substitute for bandage, to cover your body when its cold, or to dry your body if you fell into a fish pond. Pair of shoes, in case your current one is broken or you throw it at zombies. Flashlight and the batteries, matchstick, rope, hunting knife (work as a weapon too), hammer, walkie-talkie, and some fireworks if you want. I might forgot a lot of things and will remember it when I actually need it (This is really annoying), but I guess that's the common things you need in an outbreak.

Well, I think that's enough supplies to help you survive the zombie apocalypse. Next time, weapon and vehicle, but mostly weapon. I don't know much about vehicle. Okay, see ya!